Grand Valley State University

So I went to GV my freshman year not knowing anyone and rooming blind in the dorms. So before I start ripping on the school I'll mention the things that I liked about it.First of all, as a freshman living on-campus, they do a pretty good job of getting you situated and well settled into the college environment during the first week. The academics werent that bad, they were challenging enough, but not so hard that you were always studying. Im a huge slacker/procrastinator, and I did better than I expected in school. The teachers were generally pretty nice and helpful. Also, the facilities were clean and the campus is pretty.

but, if your like me, academics and clean toilets aren't the only thing you want to get when you sign up for college.First of all, I would talk to a lot of the guys on my floor during the week, everyone would go home every weekend of the first semester. Im from the Detroit area and even if I did have a car, the 3 hour ride wasn't in the cards for me every week. There are some parties on the weekends, but they're pretty lame. It's a dry campus and there is one cop for like every five kids going there. The other thing about the parties is the girls. They use the 2:1 girl to guy ratio as a selling point, and there are some seriously hot ones, but theyre all act like theyre some kind of classy stripper (you can look but don't touch.) They all get dressed up really fine, but the hot ones rarely drink, and are usually taken. Bottom line, a normal average guy can get laid by some drunk band geek, but will be ashamed for weeks after. The dorms are really cliquey. After people formed their groups, "outsiders" can't go into the common area in the dorms without getting stared at.

Allendale is surrounded by like 40 miles of farmland on either side, and you can go into Grand Rapids if you want but if you are under 21 there's no point. If you live in the dorms don't expect to get away with any kind of substance abuse as the RAs are like prison wardens. Mine called the cops on me twice for weed and playing music too loud, and almost half of the guys on my floor got MIPs the second the stepped on campus after drinking.The food Sucks dick. I came home for thanksgiving and wieghed myself to find I'd lost 15 pounds. You go to Fresh and they brag about being all you can eat, but are never actually serving food. Theres a whole squad of workers there all day on break or talking to each other, and in a huge cafeteria there is like one edible thing. Any other of the cafeterias and you can get a sandwich and thats it. I usually had to use 2 meals on my meal plan to feel full. This was definately one of the worst parts of GV. I wouldnt recommend GV to anyone looking for a new and exciting experience in college, but if you want to do school work, not eat, sleep, and repeat, then this is the school for you.

1st Year Male -- Class 2016

Faculty Accessibility: A, Campus Aesthetics: D+

This place is not a college, it is a prison. The social life is horrendous (as a freshman at least). People don't go out to get fucked up and have a good time, they go out to make a fashionable appearance and that girls can give males blue balls and be pruder than shit. Not saying it's everyone's fault, though, that they don't want to get fucked up like a normal college because the GVPD are neo-nazis and are thristy as fuck for you money and to send you to dick-ass judge post (one night, my buddies and i were playing xbox in his dorm with a few brews and the first knock on the door were the cops... we were being loud, they were just doing rounds, heard bottle clinking and stood there and listened outside of the door while we gave ourselves away). I will say that I do like the education part of this school a lot. The class sizes are relatively small, the facilities are nice and the classes are manageable. But by god, can't my hard word get paid off at the end of the week with some good ol' fashioned drunken stupid shenanigans, having fun and letting loose? Shit, girls don't even get drunk here... not to mention no one gives a fuck about the sports, so you're not missing out on any good tailgates or after parties. The thing I'll remember the most about being at bible banging GV is sitting in my room, playing xbox and jerking off. Transferring to Western next year for a real college experience, this place is bullfuck

1st Year Male -- Class 2018

University Resource Use/ spending: A, Social Life: D