Wheaton College

The ironic thing is that I went to Wheaton College with the goal of it strengthening my faith but by the time I graduated, I felt so unworthy as a human being that I seriously wondered whether heaven would be better without me there. I still wonder this at times.

I was especially amazed at the large size of most required classes as well as lower level classes in your major. There was no assistant instructor and usually 60+ students in a lecture hall setting. Most of these classes involved taking a multiple-choice test. I come from a public school background, and I found my education there to be much more cutting edge and engaging than most classes I attended at Wheaton College (not to mention much less costly!). Multiple-choice tests are geared towards those who take tests well, not necessarily towards those who really know the material.

Hopefully, no one was treated as rudely by the professors as I was because I have spent many years recovering from their insensitive comments, generally of the sort that I never expected a fellow believer to speak to one another. I petitioned to graduate and I really thought that I was stupid by the time I finished. I remember one professor saying, "I don't know how you got into this college." Needless to say, currently I am on the waitlist for a doctoral program in a very prestigious program. The current university that I attend (secular, mind you) has really helped me to heal my wounds. The professors here are wonderful - the type that I had expected the Wheaton College ones to be. I believe that I am going to be a stronger person as a result of the abuse I endured while at Wheaton College, but I can't help but wonder if that sort of trial was really necessary. I am still struggling with my Christianity - at this point I am more of a sideline Christian and very skeptical of large Christian bodies that the world deems as holy.